CCC Event @ December 22, 2014 at 06:52PM

Today's special, seasonal whinge is not for car drivers, but all the complete muppets in tesco tonight. Seriously, the shops will only be shut for one day, it's not the end of the world... Oh, and if you can't find what you want, please don't be a BMW driver about it and just abandon your trolley in the middle of the aisle!

CCC Event @ December 15, 2014 at 01:30PM

so, no car drivers this morning, but I do have a special mention for a couple of bell ends... firstly, the lady who was walking to work this morning - relying on your hearing rather than your sight for testing whether there is a car coming is not a great plan if you are listening to an mp3 player... and to the guy in Wilmslow on your bike... yes, red lights do apply to you.

CCC Event @ December 12, 2014 at 09:24AM

So, regular watchers will already be aware of my dislike of front fog/driving lights - particularly those that see them as an alternative to proper headlights. Taking to a whole new level this morning, was the bloke who, like many people who arrive at the airport to wait for someone, had parked up on a verge nearby to wait. Unfortunately, he also decided to point his car at the oncoming traffic, and leave just his driving lights on, so blinding all the poor drivers who came down that stretch of road... Nice..

CCC Event @ December 10, 2014 at 05:59PM

So, didn't even make it out of the car park before encountering today's. To the Dickhead in the x5...size of vehicle does not denote right of way. Looking around you is also beneficial.

CCC Event @ November 26, 2014 at 08:06AM

may have been the subject of someone else's rant this morning

CCC Event @ November 24, 2014 at 06:21PM

To the in the kia tractormobil, learning to work your sat nav is best done whilst at home, rather than swerving down 2 different motorways.

CCC Event @ November 24, 2014 at 08:03AM

Dark Monday mornings, a mecca for s... today its all about lights... here are some general rules, I never thought it was that hard: 1. If its dark, you need headlights on. 2. Sidelights are not headlights. 3. Driving/front fog lights are not headlights 4. 1 headlight is no substitute for 2 - change the bulb! 5. There is no excuse for full beam on the M56 on a Monday morning. Ever. Thank you - have a good week everyone!

CCC Event @ November 19, 2014 at 01:28PM

Lorna asked me this morning if I'd had any's on the way to work - I didn't, but I managed to find a couple on my lunchtime walk. Outside my office is a keep clear sign in the road, which has featured in before. As I left the office, there was a lady in a BMW convertible parked on top of it, obviously. On the way back, it was clear, so I thought I would take a picture of it, perhaps as an instructable for other BMW drivers, to educate them as to the correct behaviour on observing one of these signs. However, at this point, another car approached, so I slowed to see if he was able to negotiate the sign correctly.. once he saw me looking at him, he decided to park only on the "clear" part of the sign, so only blocking half the road. I had a little laugh to myself and walked off, at which point, he wound down his window to ask me " what's your f***king problem ". I told him that I was fine, thanks for asking, but that didn't seem to placate him... " why did you look at my car, and then start laughing" I decided at this point, that if he didn't know, then I wasn't going to tell him, so I let him carry on - he didn't seem to see the problem " I saw the sign, I stopped" he said, whilst still parked over 5 4ft high white painted letters saying "clear". Sometimes I think there is no hope for the world.

CCC Event @ October 16, 2014 at 08:36AM

2 "special" drivers this morning - first one was the Astra that was completely incapable of maintaining position on a bend - drifting in and out of both lanes of the m60 to m56 slip road, oblivious to the other cars around him. And the second was the mini who decided that having joined the motorway, it was imperative to make their way to the "BMW" lane as soon as possible, whether there was a gap or not. For the avoidance of doubt, putting your indicator on does not give you right of way!

CCC Event @ October 15, 2014 at 07:42AM

picture a man going on a journey beyond sight and sound........its called overtaking a cyclist over the crest of a hill - in the f***king dark. How can people be so f***ing stupid? Grrrrrrr.

CCC Event @ October 14, 2014 at 11:55AM

just about calmed down from my journey to work - way too many s to mention - but basically, if you were on the M56 or airport approach road between 7.15 and 7.20 this morning.... grrrrrrr.

CCC Event @ October 08, 2014 at 08:09AM

today's gets full marks for self awareness - but none for driving ability.... realising that using his phone while driving was dangerous, this twat thought that he would slow down to make it safer... which is fine, unless you're down to 40mph on a motorway. On the plus side - I had AC/DC on the radio. Chooooooon

CCC Event @ October 02, 2014 at 07:39AM

Winter is coming..... no not a Game of Thrones reference but more the fact that the ice indicator came on in my car this morning. That, and I had my first for months... this complete dick thought that the M56 didn't pose enough mental challenges to him, on a thursday morning in the dawn half light, so decided to make some notes, on his A4 writing pad, resting on his steering wheel, with his phone jammed between his ear and his shoulder. Welcome back to all the CCC's out there, I've missed you... oh, actually, no, hang on a minute, I haven't.

CCC Event @ June 27, 2014 at 09:21AM

So - a massive reboot of's this morning - from the dickhead in the Insignia that cut me up on the M60, to the Clio that had no idea about lane disciple - and finally to the Audi who stopped on the hatched area of the off slip for Terminal2 at the airport, so that he could get out - and presumably check which terminal he needed to go.

CCC Event @ May 01, 2014 at 08:48AM

another proper c*** on the way home from work yesterday ( well there must have been plenty of others too - given the state of the roads last night). Picture the scene, you leave your place of work/residence, get in your nice shiny automobile, and drive into the local town. You approach a roundabout, stop, look right, and see a silver mondeo, with a slightly greying, easily angered man, with a grudge against s**t drivers, on the roundabout coming towards you. Do you a. stay where you are, as per the highway code, allowing the car with right of way, to continue unimpeded on his journey, and pull out behind him. or b. drive right in front of him, like a c**t, force him to slam his brakes on, and then have the temerity to give him the bird, when he decides to remind you of his presence by short, sharp, use of his audible warning device. happy thursday, y'all.

CCC Event @ April 30, 2014 at 07:54AM

so after a recent dearth, yesterday's drive home was full of c***s. Firstly, the bemused woman in the Waitrose car park who looked like she must have borrowed the Merc SL that she was driving, as she clearly had not the first clue how to park it, and had pretty much given up and was just driving slowly, the wrong way, round the car park hoping for somewhere open to abandon it. Then we had the rest. Now, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that no matter how late one thinks one has left it to pass through a changing traffic light, there always seems to be enough time for at least one, and maybe more cars to follow you through. So, I play a game, where I check my mirrors, and predict. So yesterday, as I checked the mirrors, there was about a 70 yard gap as I passed the light just changing to orange. next thing I know, the Golf TDI has floored it, screamed through the red light, and caused the people pulling across the junction to do an emergency stop, despite having full right of way. And that wasn't the last, it seemed that yesterday was the day for running red lights, as obviously, waiting 30 seconds for the next set is clearly way too inconvenient for today's busy motorist.

CCC Event @ April 24, 2014 at 07:56AM

late entry for yesterday's CCC - as I was heading home along the M60, it was fairly busy, there was an Astra who decided that he needed to overtake every car on the motorway, even though it meant almost missing his junction, and having to cut up 4 lanes of traffic. Just take a chill pill - nowhere is that important to get to that fast.

CCC Event @ April 16, 2014 at 08:51AM

a special shout out to the twonk on a motorbike in front of me near the airport today - the fact that he was doing "tyre warm up" swerves approaching the lights gave me some hint on the sort of person he was, but then, at the next set of lights, he took the pedal bike approach, and decided that red lights didn't apply to him, and also, that crossing though a set of cones to turn right where it was prohibited was also fine. Like I said the other day, just cos you can fit your bike through the gap, doesn't mean you should.

Happy friday CHOOON!

So - its sunny, its friday - I don't want to whinge about Complete Commuter C***s today - so here's a complete commuter CHOON which popped onto my stereo this morning instead. #ccc

CCC Event @ April 10, 2014 at 07:51AM

No one to whinge about on my drive to work this morning, which does allow me to talk to you about the douchebag who tried to run me over last night on my run... I was pottering down the pavement into Sale, needing to cross a side road. I looked up, and although there were some cars coming, none were signalling to turn into the road, so I jogged on - into the middle of the road, when some fat twat in a Fiesta decided to pull across with no warning. I'm now stopped in the middle of the road, as he takes the time to give me the bird. C***.

CCC Event @ April 09, 2014 at 07:59AM

Today's Complete Commuter C*** is a return to my roots - this sort of driving is what "drove" me to start documenting this stuff. It all stems from people having no sense of sharing the road, people who believe that the only thing that is important is for them to get to their destination as fast as possible, and that everyone else on the road is an impediment to that. So - approaching the M56 slip on the M60, there is a filter lane which I am in. About 1/4 mile from the junction, I see a black octavia minicab pull in from the outside lane into the next lane ( no signals, so I can't tell his intentions). I wait for a bit - leaving a gap, but then, as he makes no attempt to pull in - I move past him, as the filter lane is travelling faster at this point in time. As the junction approaches, the filter lane splits in two, and I move into the outside lane of the two, at the same time as the minicab comes blasting past me, with indicators on, and decides to squeeze into the gap in front of me, not seeming to care that he was leaving it a little late, or, more importantly, that the 206 in the inside lane of the slip, was in the middle of pulling into the gap also. Cue two cars halfway into the lane in front of me - me backing right off, and wishing that I had a camera to share the evidence for the inevitable accident. Fortunately, just before impact both realised that the others were there, and swerved away - the octavia almost taking out someone blamelessly pottering along in the inside lane of the M60. This sort of driving is so common, and it really pisses me off. There's just no need.

CCC Event @ April 08, 2014 at 09:26AM

another guest this morning... as my colleague Lewis was coming to work this morning, waiting patiently at the zebra crossing - a car stopped to let him cross, so he started across the road, at which point said car decided that he wasn't actually going to wait, and attempted to run him over... c***.

CCC Event @ April 07, 2014 at 04:06PM

back to the airport on my route home, and a great new effort for the Complete Commuter C*** - to be fair, this was actually fairly funny, but it still just about qualifies.... They are doing a whole lot of major works around the airport to put in the new tram line - so there's a lot heavy machinery around. So I get stuck behind this 9 tonne dumper truck... moseying along at about 5 mph, when the driver decides to "run his hand through his hair", completely forgetting that he's wearing a hard had, which falls off, bounces just in front of me, and rolls into the middle of the road.... so he just stops - calm as you like, wanders down into the road, grabs said hat, pops it onto his head again and calmly resumes his journey.

indisciplined... you won't fool me

Going to have to change my route to work back - the drivers on the A34 are so consistently bad in their lane discipline, that I could name a CompleteCommuterC*** every day, purely for that. Need something more exciting, so probably go back to the airport route... seems to make for more interesting journeys!

In the meantime, I had another CompleteCommuterChoon this morning... The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again - all 9 minutes of it.... BOOM!

C*** or Choon?

I have a new #ccc concept! Don't all get too excited all at once!

For those days where I can't find a suitable c***'s driving to talk about, I know that some of you miss my ramblings. So - as a way to numb the pain - on those days CCC will stand for CompleteCommuterChoon! And will consist of a comment about the best song I heard during my commute to work. Feel free to add your own views on my song choices, or recommendations to add to my morning playlists. For info - my driving music of choice varies between xfm, radio2 and my spotify account....

This morning, and the track that blew my head off, and welcomed me to thursday in a loud and bouncy way was Block Rockin' Beats, by The Chemical Brothers.

This song was often used to welcome the players onto court at the British National Squash Champs, so brings back storming memories of great weekends in Manchester with my good friend Matt

CCC Event @ April 02, 2014 at 05:34PM

Genius driving tonight. Old guy decided that he didn't actually want to go into the airport, but he'd already gone that way. Rather than accept his fate, he decided to turn off, into 3 lanes of oncoming (albeit stationary) traffic. Where he thought that would get him, I have no idea.

CCC Event @ April 02, 2014 at 07:48AM

amazingly enough, today's was almost a complete re-run of yesterdays. Poor lane discipline on the A34. Only this time, it was a white van, rather than a BMW... BMW drivers can have a day off. extra bonus points though, for the Ford fiesta, who undertook him, and then pulled straight back out into the outside lane, despite there being nothing to overtake.... aaarggghh it must be contagious!

The BMW Lane

The easy option for today's CCC would have been the twonk who crashed on the M60 to M56 slip road... but no, that's too simple, a better one was the BMW driver (obviously), who, when entering the slip road onto the A34, moved immediately across to the "BMW lane" despite there being no traffic to overtake, and stayed there for the entire of my trip to Wilmslow - not at any time moving over, despite a number of cars choosing to flash him, undertake him and shake fists at him. Top marks for twattishness.

Mobile C***s

So - a guest CCC story today... comes from my dad.... driving up to a roundabout, he spotted a woman, sauntering across the oncoming carriageway, with her phone pressed to her ear... slightly concerned that she might step into the road, he prepared for an emergency stop, which he then had to execute, as without even looking, she stepped into his path. On lowering his window, and suggesting to her that she might want to look before crossing the road, her response was " you could see that I was occupied - why didn't you stop?" - dad suggested to her that perhaps she should take a little more responsibility for her own safety, at which point, the lovely lady told him to **** off...

Personally, I think he should probably have run her over... at least it would have cleaned up the gene pool.

Undertaking a queue of traffic

today's ccc was the twat in a fiesta who undertook me, cut up the person in front of me, undertook someone else, cut up a few more people, and still ended up behind me by the time I got to Wilmslow.

C***s galore!

Another glut of CCCs this morning, from the 2 people that crashed on the M56, to the twonk who double parked opposite the only car on the street ( same place as last time, but not a BMW this time), oh yes, and another special mention for the dickheads doing the roadworks at the airport, for putting in a completely pointless lane closure on my route to work.

Stairway to heaven?

following the famine - a feast! Yet another CCC this morning - to the complete dicks in the flat bed truck on the motorway - you'll probably find that tying your lightweight aluminium ladders down, is much better than littering them across the m60.